Limerick Awesome
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Limerick DB
Some gems:QUOTEThere once was a buggy AI
Who decided her subject should die.
When the plot was uncovered,
The subjected discovered
That sadly the cake was a lie.QUOTEThere once was a girl named Lenore
And a bird and a bust and a door
And a guy with depression
And a whole lot of questions
And the bird always says "Nevermore."QUOTEAmong all these poems, a few
of the best recite old jokes anew.
But there's one I don't see,
And the reason must be:
In Russia, the limerick writes you.QUOTEOur Winston works hard for the State,
He meets Julia, goes on a date,
His thoughtcrimes come out,
He sees rats; turns devout,
Now he thinks that Big Brother is great.QUOTEThere once was a man named Bertold
Who drank beer when the weather grew cold
As he reached for his cup...
"NEEEEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!!!"
Oh, snap! You just got limerickrolled! -
I like Fark's own MaxxLarge:QUOTEOn having an earlier limerick bitched about:
I'm sorry you don't see the need.
But rather than awkwardly plead,
Just scroll past the text,
And check out what's next.
It's not like I FORCE you to read.
On Bidet's being recalled because the water was too hot:QUOTESo what if it's just a bit hotter,
Once you are done being a squatter?
If dung were to land
In the palm of your HAND,
You'd sure wash it off with hot water.
On the discovery that testes can produce eggs (apparently dnta):QUOTEI thought testes did only one thing?
It seems they grow eggs. That's a fun thing.
Docs usually cheat
To make men obsolete.
At least we are still good for something.
On a woman being denied liver transplant due to her heavy drinking:QUOTEThe doctor's express diagnosis?
The final result is cirrhosis.
He left you a note.
It reads, and I quote:
"Stop drinking-improve your prognosis."
On a couple fighting to overturn a city ordinance banning chickens on private property:
(sidenote: the headline was "Man boks at obeying city ordinance")QUOTEIf he thinks that chicken pot pies
And super-fresh wings, legs and thighs,
Are worth a big brawl
Down at ol' city hall,
He's in for a pullet surprise.
On research indicating that basting meat in booze before grilling can reduce carcinogens that grilling produces:QUOTEOld age mean you're not feeling frisky?
Although you've been told that they're risky,
Beer Brats are the answer
For killing off cancer!
And "health food" is beef soaked in whiskey!
On a suicide pact that fell through... a little late:QUOTEWe'll do it just like we rehearsed,
Since life took a turn for the worst.
A shot to the brain
To end all our pain!
Still...I'm thinking YOU should go first.
On the world cosplay summit:QUOTECondemn them? Hope nobody hurries.
They're harmless, and give me no worries.
Their costumes are cute,
And creative, to boot.
Just don't get me started on furries.
On: "In both cases, the bedcovers -- designed to prevent dust mite particles from reaching sleepers -- reduced exposure to allergy-causing proteins.":QUOTEThis article sure is a scoop.
'Bout dust mites, I'm now in the loop.
But, be realistic
And not euphemistic...
Those "proteins" are really their poop.
On a story involving "extra mystery condiments" at a specific pizza place:QUOTEHey, I wanna talk to your boss!
I mean it! I'm desperately cross!
This pie, I can't face it.
You're gonna replace it.
And this time with NO "special sauce."
That goes back about 3 months, and he's been around for years... -
It seems that the poets have found
the net can provide common ground.
But speaking in verse,
can be quite the curse
when one thinks of something profound.
edit:
I've read too many of these limericks.
So much so that my mind plays tricks.
Now everything is read
with this beat in my head.
I will need to search for a fix.
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