Forbidden Donut

It looks like a polished, first person version of Oni. Which is fine if that's what you want, I guess, but I looks like something that I, at least, can pretty safely pass on.

Also, I just got an XBox 360 Elite, and I can safely say that Mass Effect makes my mass erect. And GTA4 is pretty impressive.

Mass effect = too much f-ing talking IMO and GTA4 is like a prettier version of GTA3 with a different physics engine and minus about 7 years worth of innovation.

what happened to buying property?
what happened to buying an interesting wardrobe?
what happened to all the guns?
what about the turf wars?
where are the airplanes?

They seemed to have just forgotten all the stuff that was in the previous games and added:
a new police system.
a cell phone
and half a dvd worth of music that sucks

I was unimpressed.

Mass Effect sucked in my opinion. Lame storyline, few interesting characters (Garrus was the only cool one), skippable conversations, average gun slinging. I don't know why people creamed their pants over it so much, I got bored of it after exploring the first couple planets.



It figures that the main character is Asian, how else would she be able to run around like that? It looks interesting enough, but hearing her panting and shit would only get on my nerves after a while.


GTA4 is nice, yeah it's missing property and planes, but the reality is that Nico is one poor bastard and can't afford any of these things. I know that after you beat the bank heist mission you get the nice 250k but the plot still figures that Nico and Roman are still dirt poor.

"after you beat the bank heist mission you get the nice 250k but the plot still figures that Nico and Roman are still dirt poor."
and thus I highlight another problem with the game.

And the phone system just makes me want to call Brucie up to set up a play date, and then smash him and his two helicopter broads with a trash truck.

Then there's the "choices" you have to make. How innovative. I get to choose between killing a guy who's been nothing but a dick to me and getting nothing, or killing his brother and getting the option of calling the first guy and having him reduce my wanted level. Which he can't do during missions. When you need it.

Then there's the stupendous targeting system, which I hated but couldn't figure out why until I saw the zeropunctuation for it. It would be great if you could see what you were targeting. But you just see a target in front of a gray blob hiding behind a gray blob in a gray blob factory. The graphics are great, but when you walk into that boat house to steal all that crack and they send you and another asshole in there alone against 30 russian mobsters hiding on 3 levels of rafters, and the only indication you have of where they all are is where your reticle snaps to, the graphics don't stand out. I also love how you can chase a dick around a pillar and he'll stay crouched shooting backwards on the other side while you run in circles.

And don't even get me started on the money. A boatfull of crack. Liberated basically single handed. And you get 1500 bucks. Be still my beating heart. If the money were scaled appropriately it would be reasonable to have some property.

And then everybody always talks about how great the characters are. Especially Niko. He's a straight OTB muhfucka who is looking for an old army buddy who did some fucked up shit a while back and might be in liberty city. His strategy of finding this guy is to do ANYTHING anybody will pay him to do. No matter how little. He'd be shot in a week.

The cop system is also wonderfully revamped. They now exercise a revolutionary new strate- oh wait they still just try to smash into your car. But now you can fly through the windshield. Also, once you have a wanted level, you better have a car parked outside because there are NO vehicles on the road when police are chasing you. Prepare to hoof it out of a 3 star wanted level.

The list goes on. I'm not saying it's bad. But I'm tired of reading 10/10 reviews of this 7.5/10 game.

If this were the first game of the series 10/10 would be reasonable. But why sacrifice all that fun for a slightly more gritty storyline that really doesn't make any sense when you look at the whole picture?



I'd like to add that freerunning or Parkour is French in origins. Not Asian

Of course both games have their problems, but at least for me they've just never stopped being fun. I'm a big RPG player, and I've done a lot of roleplaying (Werewolf and D&D, anyone?) and I find the conversations interesting, and the storyline compelling. But fuck, to each his own; I don't claim to know what you guys enjoy playing.

Lol. I'm just railing. I can see how a dutiful RPGer (ie tabletop) would enjoy Mass Effect. It has a lot of great elements. I just don't have the time or patience to sit through such long dialogue, and I felt like I was missing something if I skipped it.

As for GTA4, totally fun. Also occasionally really obnoxious. GTA3 was the first 3d iteration of the game. Revolutionary. Vice City had property and planes and motorcycles and some other odds and ends. It was just an expo, really. And it still kept the evolution going. Then San Andreas blew the other two away with the sheer volume of content. A stats system to add RPG elements, more property, clothing (and a shit load of it), food that affected your stats, turf wars, lots and lots of guns that you could level up, car modding, hidden packages, collectables, jetpacks, planes, parachutes, helicopters (vs the one they have in GTA4).

Then GTA4 came out. They took out all that and added:
drunk driving, a slightly different wanted level system, a new physics engine, and some more interesting writing.

Hell my problem with it isn't how fun the game is. It's how fun it could have been and wasn't, for no damned reason at all.

I know what parkour is. I'm just saying, since she is a woman, only an Asian woman would be able to ninja around the city like that.

Not sure what that means, but I suggest you watch District 13 if you haven't already.

Women are incapable of feats such as parkour, therefore, being of the race known as Asian would fit the prerequisites of becoming a ninja like that.

Thought so.

7/10 - The overall message of the troll was unoriginal, but you get bonus points for delivery.

I was being serious that the only way they would have a female character free running throughout the city is if she were an Asian, that was all I was trying to get across. Hahaha