Forbidden Donut

Yeah, I don't know what to make of this news. The only productive things she could do now are to completely leave politics or to try to take the Republican national chairperson position.

/I think this is everybody's secret wish.
//strikethrough!

Women should not be allowed in politics.

Well, if she gives speeches to make money then she is an asshole and if she runs for President she will lose because of the rightfully acquired "quitter" label. I still like her though /ohmy.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":o" border="0" alt="ohmy.gif" />

"We're tired of the beltway, bureaucratic, politics-as-usual! We're tired of career politicians who only know how to get re-elected and don't live in real America with the rest of us don't you know.

When I resigned from my post as Governor of the biggest state in our country, I did so with the best intentions for the people of Alaska. See, I don't get my jollies from running stuff. I serve when I'm needed, dontcha know, and when I wasn't needed in that anymore, I found a place in the private sector, working amongst the people, where I could do some real good and make some real, positive changes in Alaska. And boy, I'm glad I did!

Alaska's economy is the only economy that's running a surplus! No deficit here, doncha know. No siree. We've moved up 3 places nationally in education and our drug addiction problem decreased by 15%. It was my policy framework that set up that series of great successfulnesses and it was my tireless work in the private sector that really made it all work to the fullest.

Now, I could've been satisfied with that, doncha know. But not me, no way. Not old Sarah! Nope! I have a vision for the future of this country. I want to go back to the roots of the republican party. The party of personal responsibility and of fiscal conservativeness. The party of Abraham Lincoln who freed the slaves, doncha know.
...
...
etc."*

There's her presidential bid. She sweeps the 2012 primaries.
/*this quote is a dramatization

Sarah Palin is a legitimate intellectual, doncha know?

sounds like the greatest speech of all time!

Vote for Palin 2012!

honestly andrew that quote is the funniest thing ever

I think it's the terrifying plausibility of that speech working...

few things immediately came to mind after reading:

- although i'm not american i would pull the lever for her. HEYO
- skimming through that reenactment the first time i would've believed it was her actual speech if you hadn't added the disclaimer at the end
- lol

The SomethingAwful article about it is wonderful, as a side note.

"Palin became a household name in 2008, when a malignant meat sack full of liquid Viagra and barely-sublimated hostility towards women and Asians chose her as its running mate. Loquacious former beauty queen and dog counter Sarah, along with laconic husband Todd, boarded the flooded submarine of the McCain campaign just as it was sinking to crush depth.
...
This sense of futility in the face of looming defeat partly explains the conservative base's celebration when McCain made his cynical play for Clinton voters. The base wasn't even really with McCain until he picked Palin.They never liked his sissy stance on not burning terrorist scrotums and not punching Russ Feingold in his fucking face on sight. Palin was an appeal to the base's blood-drenched id, aching for release in the womb of a holy-rolling special angel mom unwilling to support reproductive rights or equal pay for women.
...
Brutalized by eight years of Bush prosperity, the American people experienced a fit of sanity and elected the center-right corporatist and his goofball sidekick instead of the warmongering economic neophyte and the winking, know-nothing, hockey mom hate shit he took on the face of America. The outcome wasn't even close. Indiana voted for Obama and voting Democratic in presidential elections there is actually a fineable offense."

an actual quote this time:
"That caught people off guard. ... It's out of the box and unconventional. That's what we are as Alaskans and certainly how I am as a public servant."

It's the cornerstone of painting conservatives as the progressive party. Which... is mindboggling.

I'm glad the article is fee of bias...

Seriously, I have a hard time *getting* this humor. Is it really funny to belittle and make fun of people in this manner? I've seen things like this on other sites as well. I find it somewhat hypocritical. These are the same places that (rightfully) denounce Fox news for doing the same thing.

Perhaps you were mistaking Something Awful for a news outlet.

I think I'm mistaking the internet for something with reason.

This is your first mistake. And if you're not careful, your last.

Behold! The true face of the internet:

/b/ does not laugh at cat attacks... They track the person down and report him/her to the authorities.

They do both!

Of course. It's how they attain maximum lulz.

... That's true. /b/ is a parody of itself.

This became apparent to me the first time 4chan-ers DOS'd 4chan. Which was also the day I realized that 4chan is the true face of humanity. And that anything else is merely a facade necessary to maintain a functional society.

4chan would take pictures of itself taking a dump on your couch because it's funny that you have poop on your couch. Then they would post them anonymously, of course.